Monday, January 9, 2012
What to do when someone breaks your heart and completely deserts you....but God's way?
I was madly in love with a guy that moved away from me. The typical young guy who went away to study (in WA). At first I never wanted him to begin with but i thought being the kind and accepting person that I am i should always give others a chance. I ended up letting my guard down by falling in love and becoming his girlfriend. He and i had a special chemistry but the distance and the influence he was under broke us. like most long distance relationships we ended but on his terms. He cut off all contact with me and i suffered tremendously. came to find out that after that he was already seeing other people and well months after i finally was able to hear from him. I called one day because I was being fed so many stories. I couldn't handle speculating and i was so destroyed by the break up i became pathetic. When i was finally able to hear the "truth" he told me in "under the influence" that he cared about somebody else and that i was just the past, that being faithful to me was difficult and the love was not there. He even said "yeah you loved me but our relationship just didn't work out" as if my feelings were something to be taken lightly. I was so shocked and till this day can't believe the guy that i fell in love, who never disrespected me wanted me completely out of his life. I would ask God to help me and to help him because this person was somebody i didn't know existed. I was destroyed because even after hearing that i still loved him and still had faith in him. Everybody would tell me that i didn't deserve that and that karma never discriminates that what goes around comes around but what hurts me the most is that he didn't even have a heart to tell me sorry or even cared about how he hurt me. He left me and cut me out because he didn't want to deal with the break up and so much me, but he never realized how he dumped all problems on me and well i left alone to deal and suffer. If only there was a verse or Godly advice for me. if only i could have peace but all I do is hurt because i feel like no justice had been served for me. He didn't even have any remorse towards my feelings and this guy supposedly loved me? I start to wonder if this guy was ever faithful and even then I still care and don't carry any animosity. I get angry and cry myself to sleep at times but i also rethink and tell myself to forgive and try to understand his point of view. Now i struggle with peace restoration and deliverance, i even doubt that any good will come my way and that everything is going great for him despite the fact that he is a non-christian and lives a sinful life.
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